Letter to my gifter

To be honest….at first I was hurt, mad, scared, depressed. I felt like the whole world came down on me at once. I felt unclean, I was ashamed of ever even looking at you. You brought such un unpleasent taste to my mouth after it all. The way you refused to believe that you could have ever been the cause, and then the way you looked at me. The way you cursed his name and put that coat upon his back. You turned into the demon I never knew you to be. And instead of standing beside me, and catching my tears, you placed me in the back of your mind, only to surface when you felt you needed a touch. Only to surface, when you missed my taste and touch. Only to surface, when lonliness was too much for you.
For a couple months, I pasted a fake smile on my face. I walked around hiding this “thing” (or what felt like) that was now a part of me. And for the ones who knew, I held “strong” like a stone. When in all honesty, I was a dirt clot, falling apart inside. My pillow would stain with tears each night. My eyes bloodshot and darkened underneath. My skin rough from scrubbing this and your memory away.
I knew it wasn’t the end, though. My light shown through, after time. I healed. I became brand new. I found that people wanted and accepted me after everything. I found that…I was still ME. No, not JUST me, but a BETTER me. New friends, support, love. I found the treasures within your gift. I helped others find that gold too.
So gifter, I want to thank you. Thank you for bringing life into me, when you vanished from it. Thank you for showing me the lovely things in this world, without even pointing them out. Thank you for the gift you gave, one that will stay with me as long as I live. Thank you